“Speak a new language so the world will be a new world.” ~RUMI

I’ve worked in eating disorders treatment and the wellness world for a long time.  I’m passionate about recovery from both personal and professional perspectives.  True to my gemini, middle child nature however, I’ve always been a bit of a rebel even when it comes to this work.

One of many topics I go against the grain on is that of media and body image.  Though I suffered horribly with painful body image the first half of my life, I’ve never been drawn to invest much energy into changing the media.  At times I’ve judged myself around this but through svadhyaya (self-study) I came to understand why.

It’s because my recovery began with the decision to make peace with my body no matter what the outside world told me about it.  As a young athlete trainers told me I’d ride better if I lost weight.  Instead I aligned with the intuition to nurture my body for mental clarity and strength.  After all, what good was thin if I fell off the horse weak from dieting?  Grounded in peace I won two state championships on a horse no one else wanted because of the way HE looked!

It’s also because I don’t believe painful body image has all that much to do with the media.  I believe the roots of such despair go deeper into the jiva (individual soul) journey.  I believe in working from the inside out rather than waiting for the world to change.

This is the path of yoga.  It’s our responsibility, and we have the power to, create through healing our Selves.

Despite their dislike of mainstream media many women unconsciously perpetuate the cultural craziness by the way they speak to and about their own flesh and bone.  Fat talk is so common it seems normal and even harmless which makes it easy to shirk responsibility for “feeling FAT”.  This is EDGO in full swing.

Changing the conversation with our bodies is one of the first karmas (actions) we must practice to realize peace.  Once I connected to our interdependence I stopped selling myself out just to fit in.  I no longer let my body be the butt of jokes (my behind was my biggest body image battle).  I set boundaries with others that my body was none of their business.  I reclaimed this sacred aspect of my Self as the private property of my soul.

In yoga a great deal of attention is paid to the power of sound.  Yoga philosophy holds that sound creates.  Pause and reflect for a moment, do you feel FAT the more you say it?  This applies not only to body image but to the relationship with food and movement too.  ”I hate to exercise,” becomes a sedentary lifestyle.  ”I can’t control myself around chocolate,” becomes bingeing.

WARNING!

A part of you may resist this info by getting angry OR perhaps you notice guilt and shame rising as you think, “It’s all my fault I feel so bad.”  Yeah!  We’ve awakened something that needs healed.  Study your sensations.  Pause and breathe into them then read on.

We can work with the niyama svadhyaya and our throat chakra to heal and be free.

Take a few minutes now to list out what’s most unsettling for you about your body, food, exercise experiences then honestly journal what you verbalize in relation to these.  Notice what you say to friends and family, to yourself as you get dressed and choose what to order off a menu.  Identify what negative self-concepts you’re supporting out of habit.

Compassionately observe yourself.  Instead of letting the mind get away with placing blame or instilling shame, revel in the reality that you can manifest a new body/food experience without dropping a pound (all though that may happen, if it’s meant to, as your body and soul are lovingly nurtured).  Here’s some ideas for turning around common PEACE sabotaging statements:

“I am FAT” >>>”I am THAT (Atman-spark of Divinity)”

“I hate exercise”>>>”I’m open to exploring movement I enjoy.”

“I can’t control my eating/I eat too much.”>>>I eat in harmony with my body’s needs in the present moment.

“I have to lose/gain weight.”>>>”I am patient with my body as it finds it’s balance.”

“My metabolism sucks,”>>>”My body runs perfectly”

I realize the whole affirmation thing can be a stretch.  Give it a try when your ready.  Also refrain from vocalizing viciousness and resist joining in on body bashing banter with others.  Silence speaks volumes.  Here you’re practicing the yama ahimsa, non-violence.  Ahimsa is the foundation of the PEACE Approach.

Lastly, I’ll share some inspiration from a little buddy of mine.  At just 6y.o. she spoke these words of wisdom with a playmate who was grabbing at her own thighs stating, “I’m FAT,  I have to lose weight!”  Payten’s response, “McKenzie, that’s being mean to yourself.  You can’t be mean to yourself, you have a heart.”

For creative guidance in cultivating a healing conversation with yourself join me at an event soon or let’s work together one on one.

Speaking for PEACE,

Julie

Hardly a day goes by that I am not completely overwhelmed by something beautiful that comes across my computer screen.  It seems just when I need it most, just when I’m ready to give up someone out there sends me a reminder of what the journey is really about.

This writing was in my e-mail today from a friend and fellow yogini.  She was gracious enough to let me share it here.  Take a moment, find your breath and let her words wash over your soul.

Namaste,

Julie

“How do I heal today?”

By: Deb Bradt

Deb is a gifted yoga teacher co-owner of Agni Studio in Mayfield Hts., OH

A colleague recently posted this thought from Geneen Roth on FB:

“When you’re tired, rest.  I know that sounds ridiculously simple, but I’ve been watching how difficult it is for me to stop.  The adrenaline rush of pushing and moving and going past my limits is so familiar.  Rest is radical.  Stillness.  Stopping.  Taking five minutes a few times a day to stop everything, breathe, rest.  Let our bodies catch up with themselves.

You’re allowed to stop. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to be “unproductive” and not do one thing that looks useful to anyone else.  See what happens.”

My first reaction to this was, ” YES!  That’s what I’m talking about.”  But it also took me down memory lane to the days of running myself ragged.  I reflected on the sense of compulsivity and out of control-ness I felt before befriending my body.  This post would have annoyed the crap out of me then.  There was a time when stopping made me CRAZY.  When sitting still made my skin crawl.  I kept going like the energizer bunny because when I wasn’t distracted I felt FAT.  Never would I have imagined I could meditate, take a nap midday or slowly stroll with my daughter through the woods forgetting time and to do lists.

Then I thought about clients, friends, family and beyond.  I realized how addicted most are to going all the time, to being in perpetual motion unless drunk, drugged, distracted, injured, sick or passed out from exhaustion.  This phrase emerged:

“We don’t rest because we’re obsessed, and we’re obsessed because we’re oppressed.”

I’ve been absolutely overwhelmed lately by the gift of community in my life.  For a long time I held onto the common belief that power and success happened mostly through independence.  That doing things on my own and not needing others that much showed strength.  I even felt some shame and guilt around wanting to be with others, share with others on a frequent basis.  Silly mind.  This is one of those illusions that causes us suffering and prevents healing.

Though we may often feel alone the truth is we never are.  We are intimately connected to everyone and everything around us.  We are perfectly placed on this Earth at this time with everything we need to BE.  Interconnectedness is yet another meaning of the word KARMA.  In the present moment with our present experience we are able to feel through the distortion that we’re alone and unsupported in our journey.  The path of yoga helps us heal this disconnection and see clearly once again.

It’s easier said than done though.  There is a primal fear that rises up (showing itself as anxiety, anger, irritability, etc) when we start really reconnecting.  The ego fights it, it feels unsafe and vulnerable at first.  That’s why it’s essential to enter into community settings, like yoga gatherings and women’s circles.  Just being with others as you deepen the connection with yourself dissolves fear and builds faith.  We are able to do for ourselves in groups what we can’t do alone and that’s OK.  It’s beautiful in fact.

Geese symbolize community.  When I begin to feel fearful, alone and unsupported in my life I read this poem by Mary Oliver.  May it help you remember the Truth of who you are and empower you to gift yourself time to gather with others to support your own healing and therefore the healing of All.

Wild Geese

May you know your home here,

Julie

“Every living thing has heart.”

~Rebecca Bralek

Last week I had a dream.

Driving through a fancy D.C. neighborhood site seeing with friends, I suddenly noticed the huge trees along the road recently had all their branches cut off.  What remained, the statuesque trunks, were still formidable beauties.  To my amazement I saw a set of lungs in one of them.  Right where a giant low branch had been removed, in the grain of the wood was the incredible image.  I was overwhelmed with joy and awe at the magic of life.  The interconnectedness of it all.  But the others with me could not see.  They laughed at the very thought.  I felt alone. With the wind knocked out of me I returned my attention to the manmade structures just to be included again.

I woke later still feeling both the emotional highs and the lows of the dream.  The same sensations I often experience as I fight to feed the dream of BKH.  Hard as it was, hard as it often is to wake instead of fall asleep again, I chose to meet my Self at my alter and practice yoga.  This poem arose after meditation.

Tree Lungs

A week later my sister, recently going through a rough patch herself,  came upon a scene at her favorite park.  Several trees along the river had been cut down.  It weighed heavy on her soul until she saw the image above.  There in one of the stumps was a heart.  Overwhelmed and inspired she took a piece of the tree home and made it into her alter.

That same week at the first BKH Support Circle, a woman found the tree piece she’d been in search of to complete her meditation alter right there in the yard where we gathered.

Not a day goes by I don’t struggle at least a little to believe in this dream.  ALL women at peace with their bodies and food.  What keeps me in the game is the awareness of the subtle, easily unseen connections that the practice of yoga attunes us to.  For every doubt there is an affirmation if I am present enough to see it.  The simple connection to breath and body keeps me awake and feeling safe.  It empowers me to keep walking the path faithfully and even makes this often difficult process fun.

Take some time today to practice PHAT with a twist.  In part 2 (“H”) of the practice replace the phrase “I feel” with “I dream of.”  See what arises.  Write it down.  Create a vision board.  Perhaps even place it on your  alter or use it to inspire creating one.  Share with me or someone else you trust what it is you dream of.  When I need some inspiration I listen to “Heartlines” by Florence and the Machine.

If we start talking more about our dreams than our diets,

we can all be FREE.

Breath by breath,

Julie

The voice was my mother’s.  Inspired by her experience helping me run the first BIG BKH retreat she feels ready to slow down, connect within and work more lovingly and holistically towards her own healing.  Oh, and give up the lifelong practice of chronic dieting that has only served to diminish her health and happiness!

We laughed about the “converting me” comment because I’ve actually learned to let go of pushing others towards change.  It’s a huge part of why she and I now have a much healthier relationship.  I’ve made the same transition in my work having realized any true healing comes from within the individual themselves.  Make no mistake, we all need some assistance braving our inner landscape, but it’s what we decide to do with what we find that creates the change.  It’s the “karma,” the action we take that matters and the single most powerful action you can take towards peace with your body and food is cultivating a “sadhana,” a daily spiritual practice where the intention is simply to connect fully and compassionately with yourself, all parts of YOU.

I can’t tell you how excited I get hearing about women beginning and deepening their home practices.  It’s like I can feel the trees breathing easier and the rivers flowing cleaner.

We all feel and heal together.

It’s common to create an alter to inspire and support your sadhana.  The picture above was sent to me by a retreat guest.  This is what she had to say about her experience:

“I’ve found myself remembering to breath deep, stay present in the moment, really listen to the people around me, consider their perspective and pay attention to what my gut tells me.  In the past, it would take a swift slap in the back of the head before I listened to myself.  When you think about it, how crazy is that?  Of all the people you DO listen to, why do we put ourselves at the end of the list – just craziness I tell ya!  I’ve already set up my temporary alter.  I have a much more organic idea in mind but it’s going to involve a little foraging to find the right tree stump.”

The world is waking up to the power of yoga to heal the many dis-eases of modern day living.  21 million people now practice yoga in the U.S. and meditation is essential to reaping the greatest benefits from this ancient wellness system.  We’ve tried in vain to cure painful body image by just changing the outside.  It simply does not work.  Women of every shape, size and weight continue to feel FAT because there’s more to the story than the scale.  Our path of yoga fills in the holes and directs us in becoming truly FREE.

I’ve included two poems here because I find it easier to express the power of practice this way.  May they inspire your journey.  Should you need or want a little more support on the path there’s always private BKH coaching (in person in Northeast OH and by phone, skype and e-mail elsewhere) and events like the next BIG Body Karma Healing Retreat.

Imagining you whole,

Julie

 ”I’m having a really hard time on my soul journey today.

 I feel lost, unworthy, sad, angry, confused…”

What would happen if we walked into work or sat down with friends at dinner and said this?  We would likely hear crickets chirping in the awkward silence.  We might be asked what the heck we’re talking about, suffer stares of judgement or worst of all, be ignored all together.   Yet it’s politically correct to proclaim,

“I feel FAT.”

Why?

Because it’s safe.  Blaming the body and distracting to food and weight enables us to ignore the elephant in the room.  The thing most of us are taught to neglect; our feelings and our healing.  We are conditioned to be strong.  To lock skeletons in the closet and keep up appearances.  To run the rat race even if our hearts are broken or unfulfilled.  In conformation we reply to the proverbial, “How are you?” with a blatant lie,

“I’m fine.”

No matter who you are, what you do, or what you have, the embodied experience is hard.  Being here involves feeling all of life.  Not only the “good” stuff but the muck and mire of daily existence.  Add to that any kind of loss or trauma along the way and…wha la!  You can feel wildly uncomfortable in your skin even when the present moment IS fine.

As culture has come to value mind and matter over heart and humanness, this dynamic has deepened.  To make it in the world we learn to disconnect from feeling.  To disconnect from feeling we have to disconnect from our bodies.  Seems logical, right?

Perhaps.  It’s a conundrum though.

The pain stays stuck inside and we cut ourselves off from joy, and more, when we abandon the body.

Denial of the heart is driven by the fear we’ll lose approval if we express ourselves.  This creates anxiety and tension in the body.  This protective posture serves us well when there’s a real threat to our life.  Holding this pose, however, out of the habit to inhibit feels bad in our bones.  With emotion being easy to put out of site/out of mind, body image presents as the problem and off to war we go desperately trying to control from the outside unwanted sensations within.

Certainly we can get by this way, but overall the practice of soul suppression leaves us feeling heavy and hungry regardless of how full our life is.  Admittedly there’s a function to the dysfunction of body/soul disconnect.  It helps us survive but also inhibits the very healing processes that can truly free us to live the happy, healthy, creative lives we deserve.

 Elephant Power

Those who know me know I love Ganesh.  The Hindu diety I refer to as “The Body Image God.”  Ganesh is the guardian of the Muladara Charka.  The first main energy center of our subtle body that relates to physical identity and survival.  While to some extent it’s self-preserving to pretend we’ve “got it together,” denial and disconnection are destabilizing to this foundational power point.  Without strong roots it’s impossible to feel secure enough to be ourselves and grounded enough to let the energy of emotions flow through, inform us and release.

When fighting with our bodies we more easily confuse physical and emotional hungers perpetuating a cycle of over- and under-eating and a world of wellness woes.

Here’s more on the first chakra and some tips to help you get connected, grounded and empowered in your healing.  Also practice being in alignment with how you really feel by naming and allowing it honestly within yourself.  Be as authentic as possible with those around you as well.  Your healing helps others as much as it helps you.

May all obstacles to your PEACE be removed today,

Julie

It never ceases to amaze me.  In the face of their own Truth, clients, friends and family will defend dieting as a viable option to improve health and happiness.  Just this week a family member who’s lost and regained the same 60lbs repeatedly proclaimed that he was on day 2 of so-and-so diet (one he’s done before).  His wife and I giggled to which he replied, “doesn’t that work?”  My response, “If it did why would you need to do it again?”  Three days prior the same soul was inhaling a ruben and fries moments after arriving home from work.  When I asked how his new job was going he said, “It was a rough week.”

Coincidence.  I don’t think so.

A client of mine working hard to maintain both sobriety and eating disorder recovery is continually confronted with diet drama at AA meetings.  She’s desperate to find a sponsor who won’t hound her with questions about how she stays thin or what she thinks about the latest fitness fad.  Because she’s thin people seek her consolation around their own eating and exercise obsessions.  In vain she explains again and again how this is as much of an addiction as drinking.  It all serves to distract us from what’s going on inside that we are afraid to face.  Seeking solace in scales, stair-climbers and spirits only serves up more suffering.

So, here we are mid-January with the war on weight in full swing…AGAIN.  Even some of the most magnificent, awakened women in my life are lamenting about their bodies and mobilizing into diet and exercise troops to fight their fat.  If diets work so well why do we keep needing (or wanting) to do them.  America diets more than any other country and yet we have the highest rates of eating disorders and obesity.

Coincidence.  I don’t think so.

“Just like a tree, though cut down, sprouts up again if its roots remain uncut and firm, even so, until the craving that lies dormant is rooted out, suffering springs up again and again.”

~Buddha

 Dieting is a distraction, plain and simple.  Focusing on fixing our bodies is escapism.  The potential for peace is placed in some future moment in a futile attempt to deny our own reality.  One we may not like very much.  Sounds like a silly thing since we all think we want peace NOW.  What we are unwilling to accept (or simply don’t realize) is that we will have to heal ourselves, all parts of ourselves, to have it.

This is hard.

Furthermore, most of us don’t know how to do it.  We’ve been trained to distrust ourselves and seek our salvation from others when ultimately, we are our own gurus.  The teachings begin in our bodies.

“There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophies.”

~Friedrich Nietzche

Instead we tend to blame our bodies when we are uncomfortable in them.  They become the proverbial scapegoats, but they are simply shedding light on our ignorance, ignorance of our pain, as subtle as it may be.

The body is the vehicle of the soul, the expansive, ineffable part of us here to shine, to sing, to dance, to create, to feel, to love and be loved, to live lusciously in the Eden of the Earth.  When the needs of the soul go unmet the body tells us through feeling FAT (painful body image).   Insatiable appetites arise, not only for more food than we need, but for more distraction through various other means as well.  Anything to keep us from feeling what we feel when life fails to nourish the whole of who we are.  This plays out in cycles of losing and regaining the same weight over and over again, or in maintaining a state of perpetual body imbalance (“over/underweight” for your body).

The healing need not be so hard.  Pain is inevitable in life.  We all have “stuff.”  With connection and compassion, patience and practice we can learn to soften into the moment where true healing happens and peace can actually find us.  Here the feelings below “The FAT Experience” can bubble up and be set free through remembering.  We can Feel Emotion And Release it rather than live in the throes of feeling FAT.  It takes slowing down and really being in the body and “sitting with” (asana) the unsettledness inside to get clear on our path.  It’s only then we become empowered to create the reality we desire guided by the once trapped wisdom within.

Dieting disconnects women from their innate self-healing process misleading them in the quest to feel at home in their very own lives.

Yoga presents a path out of this cycle freeing both body and soul.  One way it accomplishes this is by quieting the mind.  The mind is the part of us that’s been trained to suppress emotion due to fear, most of which is completely irrational.  Yoga makes the body a grounded, strong yet flexible container through which energy (emotions) can move freely.  From this fluid relationship the body becomes unburdened.  You feel free for real.  Weight imbalances work themselves out in their own time, if necessary, as a side effect of positive SOUL-esteem.

Before beginning or continuing your latest diet take a least a few minutes to reflect on what you REALLY want from changing your body.  Reflect on what diet drama (detoxing, bingeing, restricting, working out hard everyday, etc.) keeps you distracted from.  It doesn’t go anywhere if you deny it, except into your body to make you feel FAT, no matter your size.

If your ready to learn how to sink into your roots and cultivate authentic health and happiness, join me and many others at the BIG Body Karma Healing Retreat next month.

E-mail me your thoughts on this blog and receive a discount on registration for this event.

Blissfully undistracted,

Julie

PS-Here’s another BKH poem for you.  I need help giving it a title.  Ideas welcome!

A poem inspired by the women present at the BKH Basics Workshop on Jan. 12th, 2013 at Agni Studio in Mayfield Hts., OH.

Thank you ladies for coming out and opening up in the name of PEACE.

There You Are

BIG luv,

Julie

“One must bear in mind that there is a considerable difference between perfection and completeness.”

~Carl Jung

“To move toward perfection is to move out of life, or what is worse, to never enter it.  Addiction to perfection enslaves mind, body and soul.”

~Marion Woodmen

Underlying every body/food issue is a drive to fix oneself.  To be better for many reasons; to be loved, to be safe, to be acknowledged, to be recognized, etc..  We do this because we have confused perfection with completion due to MAYA, the illusion of duality and separation.  This is what fuels our fear-based, achievement addicted, war-waging way of life.  It’s what leaves us feeling FAT vs. FREE.  From truth however, balance in body and behavior unfolds.

Yogic philosophy teaches that we are all complete because we ARE.  That we are perfectly imperfect and our true nature of divineness can never be taken from us.  If we don’t feel this way it’s due to experiences that have caused us to forget we are all ATMAN, “spark of the divine.”

If you are reading this post clearly the world did not end today.  That’s not what 12/21/12 was about.  It was about our reawakening to our completeness and oneness as stated below:

“What is most needed on Earth now is a paradigm shift of consciousness on a massive scale, a change in our perception on the true nature of reality, one from separation to one of unity beyond the dualistic mindset that has dominated mankind for eons.  There is no “me” or “you,” there is only “one.”

Today on this sacred solstice I encourage you  to release the relentless drive for perfection.  You don’t need to change you to feel complete, whole or worthy.  Release the beliefs and fears that keep you paralyzed and heavy.  Love what your life is right now by breathing, softening into your body and experiences.  See for yourself that you are supported by forces beyond the mind’s understanding.  Practice surrendering, just today.  Peace is here for you, for all of us.  Here’s a prayer to support you now and always.  It’s one I chant every morning and when parts of life temporarily cause me to forget who I AM.

Asato ma sadgamaya~Lead me from unreality to reality

Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya~Lead me from darkness to light

Mrityor ma amritam gamaya~Lead me from time bound consciousness to time transcendent Being

I know it’ hard to do.  Join me in the new year at a BKH event or let’s connect privately to help you remember your natural, peaceful way of Being.

Om Shanti~Peace

Love, Julie